Your Agenda...

It's easy to get mixed up in other people's worlds. Sometimes we feel as if we have to compete with others, to play by their rules or to abandon our agenda to work for theirs. No matter what you are trying to achieve, stay true to yourself. It may be difficult, but remember what it is that you stand for, what you are trying to do and what matters to you.

It is very clear to me now how people get lost. You are given opportunities to change your life and you take those opportunities. When you are in the environment where these opportunities arise, you may find it difficult to remember what your agenda is. Things have changed and you are receiving everything that you hoped, prayed and asked for. Now what do you do?

The City...

You gotta keep your head...keep your wits about you and stay on your own agenda. People say you gotta stay humble, stay grounded and remember where you came from. This is actually what they mean. They mean don't change because your circumstances have changed. Don't forget what it is you started out to achieve. And they mean don't become someone else.

I don't agree with the phrase, "Don’t be someone you're not." We are ever changing as humans. Only a few of us know who are really are. When we achieve more, things in our lives may change and we may change. And that’s okay. We have to grow. But to be fair, what people mean by that is don't become unrecognizable to those who knew you before these opportunities came. I understand what they mean and they most often mean well.

Bottom line friends...get set, keep your wits and remember what you want. If you want to change, change for you and you only. The journey continues...
 

Progress?

Today is the first day after George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges in the slaying of Trayvon Martin, a young man with a promising future. George Zimmerman is listed as multi-racial and Hispanic descent. Trayvon Martin was African-American. There are all sorts of reasons to try to justify the crime. Truth is, one person died and the other lives on. One person began a sequence of events that lead to the death of another but that man, George Zimmerman, walks free today and Trayvon Martin is dead.

We can say that progress has been made. African Americans have many opportunities today as compared to before the civil rights movement and the slavery era. We are free people with the same rights as everyone else in the world...or are we?

It is still difficult to be black in a white world. People assume things about you because of your color. Often times, we cannot relax because we are trying to set others at ease. Trying to relay that we are not a threat even though our skin colors do not match yours. You may say, "how do you know what people are assuming?" To this I say, you have to live here in this skin to know what it is we are experiencing.  But when people move to the other side of the street when you are near, when people ignore you, when people are unpleasant for no reason, or when people call you a nigger, you know what it is they are assuming.

My earliest instance of such treatment came in grade school. I was at school, getting along just fine with new friends...I thought. I was leaving a group of them heading back to class and overheard one of my classmates say, "she's pretty for a nigger girl". I didn't know how to react or how to process this incident. I never even shared it with my mother until I'd reached adulthood. There was a certain amount of shame, sadness and embarrassment that came with that statement. I thought there was nothing I could to make this situation better, to make it go away. What and how to say something without crying, without pleading for them to take it back, without wanting to disappear. So I said nothing. But I carried the sadness with me for a very long time.

Today I know that it is not me, it's them. There are just some people that don't get it. Some people won't like you no matter what, won't trust you no matter what, won't hold you in their confidence no matter what. And that's okay.

My Heart Bleeds

What is not okay is to do harm unto others. It is not okay to degrade others. It is not okay to decrease the peace. There is nothing you can say that I don't already know about my color, my race and how people feel about it in this country. The fact that you acknowledge my race and use it as a tool against our potential connection is a shame. What people fail to realize is that we are all from the same Source. One way or another, if you harm another part of the Source, if you betray the system of harmony and balance it is trying to achieve, if you kill your neighbor, you too are harmed. Karma does not relent. She does not forget. It may be long after this life is done, but Karma will prevail.

Those who feel that justice was not served can do what I've done and sign this petition - http://www.naacp.org/page/s/doj-civil-rights-petition. It asks for the Department of Justice to pursue a civil rights charges against George Zimmerman. Our hearts are with the remaining members of the Martin family.

Increase the peace...CobraWoman

The Best Laid Plans...

We always have something to do. Some plan, some thing that we feel we gotta do no matter what. Our best instincts tell us we may be wrong, but we keep pushing forward, to make something happen.

This was me today. I was planning on doing something I thought was important. Something that I thought I needed to do in order to make myself more legitimate. To fulfill some weird need to be vetted into a society that I already barged into years ago...sometimes you gotta.

Anywho, I'm my own worst critic. In making a mistake, I feel I'm letting all those people down that I promised I'd succeed. What's important to realize is that everything we do is a step. It can be in one direction or the other. I believe there are no real mistakes. I'm just sayin', forgetting your drivers license ain't great but it can be the opportunity you needed to learn to check for it before you roll.

Everything we do or don't do is an opportunity for us to learn and to become enlightened. Enlightenment can come from anywhere. I get a lot tidbits from the most familiar yet unexpected places.

So the next time you feelin' some kinda way about something you would have done, could have done or should have done...the woulda, coulda, shouldas...cut yourself a break. Deep down inside, you know what's for you and whats not. Sometimes we just don't wanna listen.

In the movie After Earth, (I liked it...don't judge me) Will Smith's character said, "Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist; and "Danger is very real, but fear is a choice." I say to don't choose fear. Even the best laid plans may still need some adjusting. And don't stress...it's just a test.

Everyday...

Goal: To write a post everyday. Why? Because this blog must succeed. If the blog doesn't succeed, I don't succeed. It's not just about selling art. It's about keeping a promise. I've sacrificed a good amount of things to be in this position. There are things that mean a lot to most people that I gave up to start my life over.

My life wasn't going the way it was meant to. Something had to be done. I had no idea what I was going to do but I couldn't stay where I was. Who's gonna change your world if you don't? How can you make things better if you remain in one place? Some people may have the karma to do it that way, but I do not.

People tell me I'm brave. "I couldn't do what you did" they say. Some or most criticize. The choices I've made are not for everyone. I don't even recommend doing what I did. But I had no other way. My way isn't for you...your way isn't for me. We are the same in many ways. We all come from the same source. But our paths are often very, very different.

It's difficult not to judge the person standing next to you. To not say, "what the hell is she doing and what the hell for?" I'm no angel or saint. We all judge sometimes. I just try to not judge...e-ve-ry day.

Technology

It's nice having the Internet. No matter what you're looking for, what you have a question about or what you need to know, it's all on the Internet. There are so many answers on the Internet, things get a bit confusing or maybe that's just me. You'll start out looking for one thing and end up finding 800 other things you weren't looking for but are so interesting you must now focus on them as well.

Difficult to stay focused, but I digress. Then there's the iPhone. OMG how many industries, suppliers, pieces of equipment and technologies has this phone spawned? So many it is impossible for me to remember what the world was like before it. Really, what did people do without the iPhone? There were other phones, cellphones, smartphones...whatever you wanna call 'em. But the iPhone is on a whole other level.

It is not just a phone...it's a bit intimidating actually. It's a calendar, a calculator, a research tool, a grocery list keeper, a note keeper, a memo taker, etc. etc. It's an artists helper ultimate. When you need to remember something, you can record a voice memo. If you see something beautiful, you can take a picture. And don't get me started with the apps.

Anywho, the moral of the story is today my iPhone was in the hospital. The speaker went out...for unknown reasons. For 30 whole minutes we were apart. It was hard but we got through it. Without it I had no idea what time it was. No way to pass said time; it even took me a minute to figure out how to spend this free time.

So what was a girl to do? Old school innovation - pen and paper! I took out my pen and my notepad and wrote. I wrote about my life as it is today and thought about how to make it into the future I'd like to see. I thought about what it is I want in my life and how I could go about getting it. I looked at people, even connected with a few. Then I realized I'd spent all the time I'd been asked to waste.

The iPhone was repaired and off we went for more adventures. Stay tuned...

Criticism...

Well friends, I did not go to art school. I am not your traditional artist. I am over a certain age. There are several things that people could say are going to make it hard for me to find success. If I let those things stop me, I'd be done before getting started.

In my quest to get started, put myself out there and put my art on display, I was prepared to receive some criticism or to be ignored. I posted my art on a website in a gallery and received a spirited reception. People criticized me for putting prices on my pieces.

When I signed up for the site, there was never an indication that pricing was not allowed. It appeared that the criticism for doing so only came from someone's opinion and a "this is how we've always done it" approach.

I understand that point of view, however it is limited. We as artists are innovators. We are ground-breakers. We are fearless. It is with a will that cannot be stopped that I'm even strong enough to put myself out here at all. If it were not for absolute desperation, I would have stopped long ago.

I have to succeed. I have to take risks. I have to take chances and possibly receive more hate than love. It is because I have the responsibility to others to make myself successful that I must go on. I have to do this. I cannot fail.

So it is not to offend anyone. It is only to become who I am supposed to be. To make it easier for those in my charge. To keep the promise I made to those that came before me to not give up. To not lay down and die. To reach the top of my field through sheer undaunted courage. I must proceed. I must persevere.

I really don't have a choice. So before you criticize, try to imagine the other person's point of view. It is poetic to be a starving artist, but not desirable. It seems unfair that as much joy art brings, we don't always support our artists until they are well known.

It is my goal to support other artists when I reach my success. So when you support me, you support the future. I won't let you down. I simply can't.

In Progress

Today I begin work on a new re-production. I am a huge fan of The Twilight Zone, original series, remakes and all! On most holidays, the SyFy channel shows a marathon of the original series. Just caught the latest marathon yesterday, July 4th, 2013...happy belated, by the way.

So I'll be working on a piece from the episode entitled Midnight Sun. I'll update progress notes and pics to share my progress. Should be a blast. I've not done a re-production of this type before. Wish me luck!